Cross eyed Rottweiler Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Dog Jokes

Cross eyed Rottweiler

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?”

“Well” said the vet “lets have a look at him”

So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it’s eyes.

“Well” says the vet “I’m going to have to put him down”

“Just because he’s cross-eyed?” says the man.

“No, because he’s heavy” says the vet.


Cross eyed Rottweiler Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Dog Jokes

Buffalo come Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Soldier Jokes

Buffalo come

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says

"Humm, buffalo come".

The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"

And the Indian replies, "Ear sticky".

The way dogs and cats think Funny Animal Jokes | Animal Conversations | Cat and Dogs

The way dogs and cats think

There is a major difference between the way a dog thinks and the way a cat thinks.

A dog says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. You must be God."

A cat says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. I must be God."

The way dogs and cats think Funny Animal Jokes | Animal Conversations | Cat and Dogs

Animal Conversations Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Duck Jokes

Animal Conversations

Q: After eating a meal at a restaurant, what did the duck say to the waiter?
A: Put it on my bill.

Q: What time do ducks wake up in the morning?
A: At the quack of dawn.


Animal Conversations Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Duck Jokes

Doggie conversations Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Dog Jokes

Doggie conversations

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bull dog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a very nice looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say 'liver' and 'cheese' in a sentence can be my topdog."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."
The Collie says, "Sorry, that's not good enough."
The Bull dog says, "I'll have some liver and cheese, please."
She says, "Sorry, that's not creative enough."
Finally the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone......cheese mine."



Doggie conversations Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Dog Jokes

The rejection letter Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Smart Jokes

The  rejection letter


Herbert MillingtonChair - Search Committee, Whitson University, College Hill, MA

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen


The  rejection letter Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Smart Jokes

Good deed for the day Funny Kid Jokes

Good deed for the day

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.

"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it."


Good deed for the day Funny Kid Jokes

Clever Kid Funny Kid Jokes | Clever Jokes | Clever Kid

Clever Kid

“Hey, Mom,” asked Johnny “can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not.”

“If you do,” he went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?”

He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.”


Clever Kid Funny Kid Jokes | Clever Jokes | Clever Kid

An apple a day Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Funny JOkes

An apple a day

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

"That's what they say," said his Dad.

"Well, give me an apple quick ? I've just broken the doctor's window!"

An apple a day Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Funny JOkes

Expert Diagnosis Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctor

Expert Diagnosis

Abe, David and Bernard were not only best of friends but also the top doctors in the neighbourhood. One day, they were out walking in Golders Green when they saw this little old man walking rather strangely. He`s hunched over on one

side, he’s dragging his right leg and he has his left hand on his lower back.

Abe says, “It`s peritonitis.”

David says, “It`s an orthopaedic problem, with flat arches and a touch of chondromalacia patellae.”

Bernard says, “It`s a nerve irritation at the level of L5.”

They argue a bit and then decide to go over and ask the old man what his problem is. So they do just that.

The man replies, “You`re all wrong. I thought I was about to fart when I sh*t in my pants instead”


Expert Diagnosis Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctor

Well constructed miss Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctors

Well constructed miss

During her annual checkup, the well constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.

"Doctor," she replied shyly,

"I just can't undress in front of you."

"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."

In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness:

"Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"

"Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

Well constructed miss Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctors

Employed by a Psychiatrist Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctor

Employed by a Psychiatrist

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win...

If I was late to work, I was hostile.

If I was early, I had an anxiety complex.

If I was on time, I was compulsive."


Employed by a Psychiatrist Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Medical Doctor

In case of emergency Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Doctors | Jokes

In case of emergency

A Spanish guy enters a hospital to have a minor operation.

A nurse begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc.

"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"

"You mean if I become very sick?"

"Well . . . yes."

"If that happens, call a doctor!"

In case of emergency Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Doctors | Jokes

Stockbroker frog Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Animals | Jokes

Stockbroker frog

Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"

One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!"

The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!"

Stockbroker frog Funny Animal Jokes | Funny Animals | Jokes

Wierd dreams Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Humor

Wierd dreams

Sophie went to see a psychiatrist about her husband.

"Doctor, My husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!"

"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."

Sophie leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Jake sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake!"

Wierd dreams Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Humor

Aspirin Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Silly Humor

Aspirin

A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word!"


Aspirin Funny Doctor Jokes | Funny Medical Jokes | Silly Humor

Not my table Funny Doctor Jokes | Silly Doctors | Funny Humor

Not my table

A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.

Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"

"Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."

Not my table Funny Doctor Jokes | Silly Doctors | Funny Humor

Maths Funny Student Jokes | Funny Teacher Jokes | Silly Humor

 Maths

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

Maths Funny Student Jokes | Funny Teacher Jokes | Silly Humor

Before he died Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Before he died

The teacher says, "Let's discuss what your fathers do for a living."
Mary says, "My Dad is a policeman. He puts bad guys in jail."
Jack says, "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all sick people better."
The teacher says, to Little Johnny, "John, what does your Dad do?"
Johnny says, "My Dad is dead."
She says, "I'm sorry to hear that. But what did he do before he died?"
Johnny says, "He turned blue and sh*t on the carpet."

Before he died Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Identifying bacteria Funny Teacher Jokes | Professor Jokes | Silly Teachers

Identifying bacteria

A group of students had a biology lab. As a part of this lab they were supposed to scrape some bacteria off their teeth with a toothpick and then examine it under the microscope.

But this one girl had some problems identifying her bacteria and asked the professor what they were.

"Those are sperm cells", replied the Professor.


Identifying bacteria Funny Teacher Jokes | Professor Jokes | Silly Teachers

Two and two Funny Teacher jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Two and two

Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Pupil: Good?, that’s perfect!

Two and two Funny Teacher jokes | Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Figures of Speech Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Kid jokes | Silly Humor

Figures of Speech

A fifth grade teacher was questioning her students use of the word "like." She explained that, contrary to their common use of it, "like" was not an adjective but a comparison word. She then challenged them to think up some similes to

exemplify the lesson. This done, she moved on to ask about other figures of speech.

"Class, what others can you think of?"

No one in the class could come up with anything, so she prompted them with a couple of her own.
"How about metaphors and personification?" she asked. "Aren't they examples?"

Little Johnny raised his hand, and when called upon said, "I know what a metaphor is, but not personification."

The teacher replied, "What's the word to describe what I'm saying when I point to that old willow tree and say 'He's saluting us with his branches.' Or what if I asked the sun to send us some sunshine? Or if I said 'That field of tall

grass is waving at us?' What word best describes what I'm doing when I speak like that?"

Little Johnny thought a moment, then said, "Hallucinating?"


Figures of Speech Funny Teacher Jokes | Funny Kid jokes | Silly Humor

Five Plus Four Funny Mr. Bean Jokes | Funny Silly Jokes

Five Plus Four

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

Five Plus Four Funny Mr. Bean Jokes | Funny Silly Jokes

Thunderstorm Funny Kid Jokes | Naughty Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Thunderstorm

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."


Thunderstorm Funny Kid Jokes | Naughty Kid Jokes | Silly Humor

Building a house Funny Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes

Building a house

Two blondes were building a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,

"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward ME, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"

The second got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!!"


Building a house Funny Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes

Bus No. 54 Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

Bus No. 54

A blonde guy was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. He wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the

Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there."
He thanked the officer and the officer drove off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, our blonde fellow is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol

building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 47th bus just went by!"



Bus No. 54 Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

A very clever blonde Funny Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes | Funny news Blogger

A very clever blonde

A Blonde and a Lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworker, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says, "Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.






A very clever blonde Funny Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes | Funny news Blogger

Blonde's dilemma Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes

Blonde's dilemma

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"


Blonde's dilemma Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes | Funny Jokes

The Star-Spangled Banner Funny Kid Jokes | Funny Jokes

The Star-Spangled Banner Funny Kid Jokes

Nicholas took his four-year-old son, Bryan, to several baseball games where "The Star-Spangled Banner" was sung before the start of each game.

Later, Nicholas and Bryan attended St Bartholomew's church on the Sunday before Independence Day. The

congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, Bryan suddenly yelled out at the top of

his voice, "Play ball."

The Star-Spangled Banner Funny Kid Jokes | Funny Jokes

Not Free but Four Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Kids Humor | Funny Jokes

Not Free but Four Funny Kid Jokes

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free."

Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four."

Not Free but Four Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Kids Humor | Funny Jokes

Help me with the puzzle box | Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

Help me with the puzzle!
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place.
She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."
"Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."


Help me with the puzzle box | Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

Doctor Doctor call Funny Blonde Joke | Silly Blonde Jokes

Doctor Doctor
At the Doctor's office A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.
'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and Screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. '
Your finger is broken.

Doctor Doctor call Funny Blonde Joke | Silly Blonde Jokes

Blonde on an airplane Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

Blonde on an airplane Funny Blonde Jokes
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.”
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do.
The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

Blonde on an airplane Funny Blonde Jokes | Silly Blonde Jokes

Billing Funny Lawyer Jokes Funny Silly Jokes

Billing
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Billing Funny Lawyer Jokes Funny Silly Jokes

Physcist's Jokes - Funny Comics

Funny Comics by Ryan North and Dan Leonard

Pronunciation funny blonde jokes | Dumb blonde jokes

Pronunciation funny blonde jokes

A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."

The cashier leaned over the counter and said:

"Buurrrrr-Gerrrrr Kiiinnnnggg"

How many States - Funny Kid jokes - Silly kid jokes

How many States - Funny Kid Jokes

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states."

Empty Head Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Kid Jokes

Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.

Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Empty Head Funny Kid Jokes | Silly Kid Jokes

All my intelligence Funny Dumb Jokes Dumb Humor

All my intelligence

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."

All my intelligence Funny Dumb Jokes Dumb Humor

State capitals QnA Funny Blonde Jokes - Dumb blonde humor

State capitals QnA Funny Blonde Jokes - blonde humor

There was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do.
I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

"N", she answered.

Definitely - Teacher jokes - Funny Jokes

Definitely - Teacher jokes

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue".

The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green."

The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion."

So the student replies, "Then I definitely sh*t my pants."

At the Wedding - Funny Kid Jokes - Kids Humor

At the Wedding - Funny Kid Jokes - Kids Humor

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

Vacuum Trivial Pursuit - Funny Blonde Jokes - Funny Jokes

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Vacuum Trivial Pursuit - Funny Blonde Jokes - Funny Jokes

Clever Kid - Funny Kid Jokes - Silly Jokes

Clever Kid - Funny Kid Jokes

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?"

"Certainly not."

"If you do," he went on, "I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"

He said, "Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow."

Clever Kid - Funny Kid Jokes

Reason not take someones drink - Funny Jokes

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."